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Recently seen on a Nashville-area bathroom wall: Theo <3 Johan

Happy December, fair readers! Our lovely Twin Cities have been walloped with snow (and there's more on the way--I wish I still owned cross-country skiis!) and our lovely baseball team has been the belle of the Winter Meetings ball. What's been goin' on around the Majors? Glad you asked.

Johan Watch: Day 47 (or something)! The Yanks have purportedly offered up Phil Hughes (YUM! -Ed.), Melky Cabrera and a mid-level prospect. But they're not going to stand outside the Twins' suite in Nashville, holding a boombox over their heads and playing Peter Gabriel all night! They might just take their giant sack of money and go home.

The BoSox are hanging around, too, acting like they don't even want Johan. Come on, Theo! How do you think that makes him feel? This isn't junior high. Let's put it all out on the table: you're hot for Johan. You go to sleep at night, clutching a giant plush Wally and dreaming of that slider. You're warm for his pitching form. Everybody knows it. Just ask Peter Greenberg to pass Johan a note during next period, telling him that you'll give his current team either Jacoby Ellsbury or Jon Lester, (both cute, but not really my type. -Ed.) but not both.

In other news:
- The Yankees are planning on beating up on a bunch of kids next spring.
- BATGIRL!
- Lew Ford to Japan! Haha, suckers. Told ya so.
- Carlos Silva could get $10m per year? Crikey. Assuming that happens, how do we not get draft picks?
- Howard Sinker wants you to know that it's okay to hate on Torii. Not that we really blame him.

Pat Neshek = Ador(k)able

Our beloved side-arm is such a slut for autographs. He's a huge collector. Pat just signed 1000 autographs for Topps. He still puts the little baseball stitching inside his "P". So adorable. Baseball players are people too.