Play Ball!

Hurrah! The days of reports from workouts and clinic sessions are over. The Grapefruit League has opened!

Of course, the Twins lost to the Reds, 6-1. Scott Baker started and did well, Matt Guerrier followed suit, and Glen Perkins dug a big hole with a wind-aided 3-run dinger.

Worst of all, the offense was the same as in 2007: practically nonexistent. The lone run scored was on three--three!--consecutive Reds errors.

I almost don't care, though. Baseball's back, baby!

Formerly chubby, newly BPILF-ilicious Boof Bonser opens things up at Hammond Stadium against Dice-K and the BoSox tonight at 6:05 CST.

Socked.

Twins 4, White Sox 6. So sad. I was in the lower level with my good buddy Matt. I was pretty happy with the game, all in all. Honestly, it was a good game, it was back and forth. 3 strikes from the Sox, 12 from the Twinkies. I cannot say how excited I am to see what happens with Blackie. He's just a puppy. He's a strong pitcher and I think he could do a lot for us.
I have a strong connection to Lew Ford for some reason. I don't know why. I just love the dude. Laur makes fun of me for it. He's back in left field, where he belongs and he made such a wicked catch in T7. Basketballer-style jump. Y'know, we made the list of things that Matt Garza likes...how about a list of things that Lew likes? I hafta give props to my buddy Matt for his major input. And now, I give you things that Lew Ford likes:

• Rocking Chairs
• Sunsets
• Warm Milk
• Arnie Palmers
• Matlock
• Murder She Wrote
• Going to bed early
• Magic Cards
  

Things Lew does not like:

• Driving faster than 5 mph under the speed limit
• Hooligans
• Rabble rousers
• Waking up any later than 8:00 am
• Damn punk kids
• Noisy hippy-hop rap music...just sounds like noises and loud talking

Runs scored for the Twins in innings 3 and 6. White Sox scored in innings 1, 4, 5 and 7. Very back and forth. We'll see what happens tomorrow, it's an early game, so the boys might be cranky, what with missing their naps and Mr. Rogers and whatnot. You get the idea.

Help Wanted

Position available, located behind home plate at HHH Metrodome. Must be able to travel. Job duties include squatting for long periods at a time, catching baseballs at 90 mph, batting well, smiling. If you cry because you get a booboo from a base running error between first and second base, you need not apply. No wussies. Send application, resume and head shot to me.

Yeah, not good to be a Twins catcher right now. Seriously.

Okay, game recap time. B1, White Sox score two runs. I was running errands at this point, so I didn't actually watch it. T2, Contreras gets beaned in the leg by L. Rodriguez. Eat it, bitch. Contreras walks it off and continues pitching. Atta boy, champ. One run scored for us. T3, we take a big lead, scoring four runs. At this point, I was like "Hells yeah! We have GOT this! It is IN THE BAG!" I was wrong. B4, Chicago comes back and says "Eat this, three runs, whores!" Because of this, Matt Garza cries. However, we make a very nice game of tag between third and home plate to end the inning. Looked like something you'd see in a movie. If you were to be scoring it, it would be notated as 6-4-5-1-5. To come back from this, our brand new catcher, Mr. Morales stumbles over himself in between first and second bases in T5. Big owie. No smiles. Limps off the field. We score a run that inning. T6, Two-I hits a homer. High five buddy. 7-5. I think we're going to win now. Contreras taps out. Mike Myers to the mound. Not pretty. Like, he's not hot. B7, Pierzynski (former Twin, I might add) pinch hits off of fresh pitcher Carmen Cali, home run right there. Mr. Sidearm comes in to relieve Cali. Two outs. Two more runs scored. 8-7. T8, MacDougal to the mound, pitches .2 of the inning. Thorton to the mound to close the half of the inning. B8, bases loaded with White Sox, 2 away, Matt Guerrier steps in. Gets the K. Hotness. Scoreless on both sides for the rest of the game.
White Sox Manager, Ozzie Guillen said "The last two games were the ugliest games I've ever seen in baseball, for both sides." Not too hot.

Happy Motherfucking Labor Day.

Well, that was neat. Sabathia took our squad, bent him over his knee and made us beg. My #3 boyfriend, Mr. Jason Bartlett made a severe embarrassment out of himself in the first half of the game. Though the Twins were only given one E the entire game, I'm pretty sure BF#3 was spacy as all get out with the 2 errors that I counted against him within the first two innings.
We saw a new face out on the mound today, Nick Blackburn. According to SI, he has a 2.11 ERA in his 17 starts in the minors. Not bad, sir. JoJo was just not with us today; in his 8 innings on the mound, he walked four batters, including Kenny Lofton at the very beginning of the game. All in all, he had 4 K's, gave up 5 runs and just did not seem happy.
On a happier note, those of you watching the game saw a wicked good save by Two-I to close the top of the 9th. It was one of those neat-looking diving catches that looked like it belonged in a baseball movie. The funny part about it was that after he made the somersaulted catch, he came out of the roll and sprung right up like he was on springs. Kinda neat, gotta be honest.
I think I'm just going to end this here. If I go on, I'm going to start getting angry, and quite frankly, I really just want to sit here, drink my Boulevard Unfiltered Wheat Beer and enjoy the weather. Cheers.

Royal Pain in the Ass

Tough game. I've started to refer to Boof Bonser as "Boof the Doof." The KC offense had us pretty bad. Big ups to Alex Gordon and John Buck for their respective homeruns. Thanks. Not only do we lose, but we lose by a fair margin. Shake it off, we kinda knew it was going to happen.
Suffice it to say, I honestly think that the team is resting up for tomorrow's game. They know that Lauren and I will be in attendance, so they really want to impress us. It was nice to see my #4 boyfriend, Mr. Jones on the field. I wish he would play on my field...wait, sorry. My bad. Good to give J Mo a little break before tomorrow. We did have a little defense switch-a-roo, though, I guess Nicky Punt-Oh couldn't take the heat.
At any rate, we had a run on the board by the time we closed down, so all hope is not quite lost. Plus, JoJo is on the mound tomorrow, which should help us a little. He can't carry the whole team er anything, but it'll be good to see him. I will add that watching Scott Baker at the Dome the other night was nothing short of magical. That is where he does his work. Didn't get the no-hitter, but a truly stellar performance. My shirt goes off to you, sir.