Twins 2008 Roster: Short on hotness.

These are sad times in BPILF Nation, my friends. Winter has been cruel to us: foxy Torii Hunter bounced to Californ-i-a, Johan Santana and his exceptionally sexy accent followed the money East, and Smiley Matt Garza headed south with cutie cute Jason Bartlett.

Yes, this will be a lean year for us daring few who base our fandom on the physical attractiveness of the men on the field. But hope is not lost! We still have hometown boy and the original BPILF, Joe Mauer. Sexiest Canadian alive Justin Morneau is locked in for six years at an $80m price tag. He is also, tragically, engaged to be married. To someone who is not me.

Joe Nathan is also still in Minnesota, though it remains to be seen if he'll get inked to a longer contract or be dangled as trade bait late in the summer.

There is of course, still Scott Baker, who is still delicious! Boof Bonser is back and he's cut out all the Snickers bars, so we'll give him a shot.

But the most pressing question is, what of these newcomers?

Philip Humber: Acquired from the Mets. Not an attractive roster photo, but not immediately unattractive.
Delmon Young: Again, not UNattractive. Has tendency to make weird shapes with his mouth when someone points a camera at him.
Carlos Gomez: Really, really not attractive.
Adam Everett: One of the goofiest-looking major leaguers since Lew Ford. Seriously.
Brendan Harris: Roster photo makes him look like he belongs on the short bus, however on the field he is semi-hot. Plus, he wears the knickers and tall socks! Sold.
Jason Pridie: No. Just no.

There we have it, Twins fans. Let's hope these goofy-lookin' dudes can at least play.

Casilla makes a no no

So I've been a whore. I haven't been updating. Kill me, go ahead. I will be at Friday's game v. White Sox and both Lauren and I will be at Sunday's game...we think. Until then, maybe we won't lose a game between now and then. Wouldn't that be nice? In the meantime, I thought this was kinda funny. Baseball players are people too.

Happy Motherfucking Labor Day.

Well, that was neat. Sabathia took our squad, bent him over his knee and made us beg. My #3 boyfriend, Mr. Jason Bartlett made a severe embarrassment out of himself in the first half of the game. Though the Twins were only given one E the entire game, I'm pretty sure BF#3 was spacy as all get out with the 2 errors that I counted against him within the first two innings.
We saw a new face out on the mound today, Nick Blackburn. According to SI, he has a 2.11 ERA in his 17 starts in the minors. Not bad, sir. JoJo was just not with us today; in his 8 innings on the mound, he walked four batters, including Kenny Lofton at the very beginning of the game. All in all, he had 4 K's, gave up 5 runs and just did not seem happy.
On a happier note, those of you watching the game saw a wicked good save by Two-I to close the top of the 9th. It was one of those neat-looking diving catches that looked like it belonged in a baseball movie. The funny part about it was that after he made the somersaulted catch, he came out of the roll and sprung right up like he was on springs. Kinda neat, gotta be honest.
I think I'm just going to end this here. If I go on, I'm going to start getting angry, and quite frankly, I really just want to sit here, drink my Boulevard Unfiltered Wheat Beer and enjoy the weather. Cheers.

Royal Pain in the Ass

Tough game. I've started to refer to Boof Bonser as "Boof the Doof." The KC offense had us pretty bad. Big ups to Alex Gordon and John Buck for their respective homeruns. Thanks. Not only do we lose, but we lose by a fair margin. Shake it off, we kinda knew it was going to happen.
Suffice it to say, I honestly think that the team is resting up for tomorrow's game. They know that Lauren and I will be in attendance, so they really want to impress us. It was nice to see my #4 boyfriend, Mr. Jones on the field. I wish he would play on my field...wait, sorry. My bad. Good to give J Mo a little break before tomorrow. We did have a little defense switch-a-roo, though, I guess Nicky Punt-Oh couldn't take the heat.
At any rate, we had a run on the board by the time we closed down, so all hope is not quite lost. Plus, JoJo is on the mound tomorrow, which should help us a little. He can't carry the whole team er anything, but it'll be good to see him. I will add that watching Scott Baker at the Dome the other night was nothing short of magical. That is where he does his work. Didn't get the no-hitter, but a truly stellar performance. My shirt goes off to you, sir.