Let's Talk Trade and After That, I'm Gonna Bitch About Something.

So, I'll admit, I've been too wrapped up in hockey season to do anything baseball related lately. Call me a sports cheater, it's the truth. One thing that generally puts a smile on my face is the Twins Mailbag on the Twins website. People write in, Kelly Thesier answers questions way more eloquently than they ask. Now, in the last edition, a very estute reader decided to jump right in. If you scroll down to Matt A's question, you will notice something: he asks a question like they are supposed to be asked. Yeah, so, are we gonna quit pussyfooting around and actually pick up somebody that matters? Cause yeah, that would be swell. I mean, this whole Craig Monroe acquisition is new, but...what's he gonna do for me? He's clearly not an everyday outfielder, nor does he offer a huge batting avg. Not that hot, either. Plus, who are they gonna shit can in exchange for him? If it's Garrett Jones, I will weep salty, salty tears.

All right, sit down baby, let mama holla atcha. Now that I have cleared up the baseball business, I would like to move on to something non-sports related: driving in the left lane. It's really not that hard, guys. If you are driving in the left lane, yo ass best be passing somebody. By that, I mean that you should passing somebody in the right lane because you are going faster than they are. It's not that fucking difficult! Seriously! If I'm tailing you, I'm sorry, but I'm not a lead-footed speed freak (well...that's arguable), you're the asshole. Recognize the fact that I'm tailing you because you're going 53 and I want to be going 60, get off your phone, put down your Decaf Venti Vanilla Bullshit Latte and get the hell over. There are so many times that I'm in the right lane and then I'm like, "oh golly, I need to turn left at some point, perhaps I'll change lanes," or "my ass is late and I need to hurry...changing into the passing lane would be my most logical next step to optimizing my road time," and once I make this positional change, I'M GOING SLOWER THAN I WAS BEFORE! WHAT THE FUCK, GUYS?! In Colorado, if you're on a major highway and you're in the left lane and you're ass is NOT passing somebody, you can get PULLED THE HELL OVER! We need that shit here. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, is using the passing lane to FUCKING PASS OTHER CARS. People do not know how to drive. I am not angry when I drive, ask anybody who knows me, I don't make angry faces at people, flick 'em off, nothing. I just get irritated. Heard the old Offspring tune "Bad Habit"? I channel a little bit of that. In the interest of my sanity and that of my fellow Minnesotan drivers, I just want to ask that more drivers just stay in the right lane. I know that there are a lot of sexy songs about being in the fast lane and all that...most of all y'all don't belong there. Sorry.