I hate Detroit.

When Detroit was at the Dome last, I (hand)wrote a whole post of the reasons why I hate that damn team. Unbeknownst to me, BLB had already done pretty much the exact same thing (or said Nicky when I read her the post: "Dude, do you have to fuckin' rip off BLB so blatently?"). They may have said it first, they may say it better. But I have to say it too.

Nate Robertson: Your glasses are stupid looking. Really, has no one ever told you that? Perhaps you are the butt of some sort of extended clubhouse prank.

Ivan "Pudge" Rodriguez: Stop being so good. Seriously.

Todd Jones: Muttonchops? Seriously? I know, 300 career saves, blah blah blah. All I see are muttonchops.

Magglio Ordonez: You have stupid, flowing hair. When you run in to catch a shallow fly, or at the end of the inning, you look ridiculous. Cut your hair, then maybe you'll win some titles. Ever think that Justy's MVP title had more to do with him being fine as hell than his rather mediocre numbers? I sure do.

Gary Sheffield: Maybe--just maybe!--it's not that the Yankees, all baseball scouts, all beat reporters and most of the people who work in professional baseball are all racists. But maybe, maybe, it's that you're an ass who says stupid shit, and that they don't like you, Gary Sheffield. Maybe.